Things I Wish I Could Say to Other Drivers

It is called a stop sign, not a go sign.  General rule of thumb suggests you should stop at such signs, not blow right through them. 

Parkway refers to the landscaping along a highway.  It does not refer to the manner in which you are to drive on it.  If you are driving as slow as molasses you have got to speed up just a little bit. 

An exit lane is the means by which you exit the highway, hence the name.  It is not the lane you swerve into when you want to speed around the person in front of you. 

If you are driving, hang up the phone.  I do not want you to slam into me just because you are too busy gabbing about Cousin Sarah’s third divorce instead of concentrating on the road.  You can talk later.  Perhaps when you are not driving. 

There is also no need to text and drive.  At least when talking you can keep your eyes on the road, whereas with texting they’re on and off the road.  If, for example, you do not answer the fifth text in a row asking whether or not you are on your way, people will probably figure on their own that you are on your way.  And quite frankly if they don’t get the hint with five unanswered texts that is their problem, not yours.  Long story short: put the phone down while the car is in motion. 

If you are at a green light turning left and there is someone across from you going straight, you do not have the right of way (unless there is an arrow indicating that you do, of course).  When the person going straight gets annoyed that you’ve cut them off, don’t be shocked. 

You might be a big fan of your über bright headlights, but no one else sharing the road with you is quite as fond of them. 

Parking lots are not roadways.  Drive accordingly.