Going to College? Drive!

    Now that most of the debris from Hurricane Irene has been cleared from Shelton’s roads, we look forward to the start of the school year.  For the average 17-year-old American teenager, the next maelstrom is the college application process, one of the last milestones on the road to adulthood.

    The word milestone—a marker constructed to provide a reference point along the road to ensure travelers are on the right path—is a term that is often used for child development.  We parents share the joy with our child when she learns something for the first time:  that her hand is indeed connected to her body as she wiggles her fingers around; that he can walk, albeit wobbly, across the room; when she takes her first bus ride to school;  as he backs the car down the driveway hopefully dodging the trash cans and mailbox;  and finally, when she leaves for college.  All of these milestones involve movement with each one leading to less dependence on us.

    My brother (name redacted to protect the hopefully innocent) will be a senior this fall, and he has embarked on the college admissions process.  Now, he is the only one in the family Going-to-College, and yet it seems the whole family is involved.  For many reasons, the process is a lot harder than it used to be.   After each college discussion, my husband and I glance responsibly at our 529 statements that we have diligently set up for our own children, twin toddlers, and then sigh.   In sixteen years, we’re sure the rules will change again, and the only certainty is that it will cost a boatload more.  Anyway, here is what we have learned so far from those who have gone before us.  Feel free, Dear Reader, to suggest, commiserate, and comment.

Let him drive.  I must shamelessly plug my favorite read of the year, DRIVE, by Daniel Pink.  It is a nonfiction book about how autonomy, mastery, and purpose are the three key ingredients for intrinsic motivation.  Mr. Pink writes mostly about the corporate world, but the application of his argument is boundless.  I read the book with high school students in mind because of my brother and because I’m also a high school English teacher.  To play on the metaphor of the book, in order to have drive, we must drive.  Let the prospective college student become emotionally invested by owning the process--selecting the schools, browsing the websites, scheduling the visits, and planning the day.  (Parents may physically drive to the campus.)

Visit colleges and universities of different sizes and prices.  Just as prospective home buyers look below and above the target home price, the same can be done with the target tuition price.  Do a cost/benefit analysis for what you get for the money.  Have your prospective applicant compile questions to ask.   Some possible questions include:  How many students attend?  What is the percentage of commuters?  What is student life like on weekends?  What is the average SAT score for incoming freshman?  Are summer internships offered?  It’s also a great time for the teenager to put that Algebra 2 lesson on exponential logarithms to use.  Have an honest discussion about financial investments, not just tuition prices, but how student loans, car loans, and home loans work. Introduce the lovely and vile term called amortization.

On a visit, be sure to see the student union, a residence hall, a dining hall, the gymnasium, the library, and the co-op.  Grab a copy of the student newspaper.  Sit in on a classroom.  Ask about technology, sports, intramurals, clubs, and Greek life.  Question students on their way from class about what they think.  Visit the local shops and markets to see what local life is like.

Make an appointment with a counselor at the college or university.  The tours are typically run by students who provide vast knowledge about campus history, its buildings, activities, residence halls, and even some trivia.  A counselor, though, may be able to meet individually to go over high school transcripts and class schedules, to discuss college majors, tuition and financial aid, and the school’s admissions process.   The counselor may even be able to tell you the percentage of graduates who secure employment in their field as well as the starting salary range based upon the student’s major.

Finally, the best part about visiting a campus is the drive home.  Have an honest discussion about college’s seemingly dual purpose.  It’s a chance to feed the mind, to nourish the soul, to open any and all doors of curiosity and step on in, to discover who you are, what the ever-changing world is about and where it’s headed.  It’s also to find a career path in this soft economy that leads to financial self-sufficiency.   Ideally, after the visit, your child, at the threshold of adulthood, leaves with renewed invigoration that high school is not simply a stodgy rite of passage, but a stepping stone to that next marker, a portal into the world beyond.  He is also stuck in the car with you, which provides ample time to discuss, well, anything…including what to write in the college essay.